我的霓虹搖籃曲

again, I moved.

2011-11-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

http://myneonsignlullaby.com/

http://myneonsignlullaby.com/

http://myneonsignlullaby.com/

new blog

2011-10-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

http://myneonsignlullaby.com http://myneonsignlullaby.com
http://myneonsignlullaby.com http://myneonsignlullaby.com
http://myneonsignlullaby.com http://myneonsignlullaby.com

I finally decided to "officially" move to wordpress.

2011-10-21T17:33:00.001-07:00

http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/
http://myneonsignlullaby.com/

I paid for a year for this domain. You bet your ass I will be keeping it till then. =O!

My Scandinavian mix.

2011-10-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am continuing to do my "Saturday theme songs." I honestly don't know if I will be doing this every single week. Let's see how it goes.

What makes life worthwhile?

2011-10-15T13:07:00.000-07:00

I lost 12 pounds so far but after eating all this, I believe it is back down to 10. Go figure. It's worth it. I went to an Argentine restaurant and got myself a steak. Ahem. Moreover, I found these cute little shoes in Target. Maryjane's, at that. The only box that was closest to my size was 6 1/2 but I had to try them. I felt weird considering they weren't big on me.I went home and saw it in the shoes: size 6. My husband says that he was glad I went with my gut and bought them. Funny how things work out like that.

Which reminds me, I need to get a haircut. STAT. I am just so...lazy. My hair got so light due to the chlorine from the water. I've been swimming hours on end each day. Honestly though, I can finally say I have a healthy, happy lifestyle. What am I grateful for?

Witnessing compassion with my own eyes.
Traveling with my husband. My travels would be dull without him.
Listening to music. Well, the notes I can actually hear. I'm tone deaf.
Drawing; it's therapeutic for me.
Hearing stories of people who "beat the odds."
Drinking coffee while having mindless conversations with my husband.
Learning Taiwanese; it's a beautiful language.
Meeting people who change me from the inside out.
The combination of French cheese and wine.
Bubble tea. One of Taiwan's creations.
My ancestors; they suffered so I wouldn't have to.

I’ve realized I blog just so I can reach somebody from the other side of the world, even though most likely I’ll never meet the person face to face. I can die tomorrow, but I left a piece of myself for someone to find. I am sure it sounds vain, but I don’t mean to sound like that. I secretly read thoughts of such fascinating people, and I’m glad they’re willing to share their thoughts to a random stranger. I never thought I could change from the inside out by exploring somebody else’s life on the world wide web. I’m such a fickle girl; I move like the waves of the ocean. I explode on impulse, but only ‘cause I feel like my entire body is a time bomb. I hope growing older means you become more wise. I need all the wisdom I can get with my weak palms. I want to explore till my legs can’t take any more and go out with a bang. I want to leave a mark just so somebody know I was here.

Farewell to my New England life.

2011-10-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

I realize I wont be going to my New England home to meet up with my family members this year, which is fine. I admit, I kind of don't miss..the New England lifestyle? Is it wrong for me to say that? Probably. Maine is a great place to visit but to live? I guess it is if you're lucky enough to even find a job for yourself. Regardless, I do miss the coastal towns. I do miss my childhood home cooked meals. I even miss how pretty it gets around this time - when the leaves change. I didn't think too much of it while I was living there, though. Go figure.

I, at least, had my husband visit where I grew up. My family members loved him. Success. On the other hand, I do get homesick...but it goes away quickly. Ahem. Just saying.

I've also got to visit Salem, Massachusetts. It's a lovely town. I would love to go back, honestly. If I feel like living in New England, this might be it. Maybe.

I am pretty sure my husband does not miss the weather. Not one bit. Poor bugger; he was wearing so many layers and he still couldn't wait to hide inside. This picture was taken in Bar Harbor, Maine.

My brother lives in Bangor, Maine. It was pretty cool to see his apartment (he moved into a better one with his girlfriend recently). I had some dreadful Japanese cuisine, though. That is the one thing I don't miss about New England: Asian food. Well, if you can call it that. (swallow nervously).

Once in my life, I've been to the good part of Boston. No, not the South of Boston. Miracle. I finally ventured outside of the south of Boston. Ah, New England. Let's face it, my family has some history here. For an example click here for my grandfather's first cousin story of becoming the first aviator in Maine.

back-to-school influence.

2011-10-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

point of view.

2011-10-11T12:39:00.001-07:00

I waste my youth on sour apple lollipops and vodka. This point of view you bought me remains on the dusty floor. You can mold me, break me, and make me hollow. You can even lick the cocaine from my cold, dead fingers and imagine beauty queens with shiny blond hair (but I don't have shiny blond hair). Time of month; you ignore the warning labels. The ballerinas dance like malfunction machines. I only become an idealist in this world and you take my hand to follow where the rosses lead us ---- abandoned garden.

You can dig up the inside of my body. You can also put out my flame ---- steal what's important. If you see lady bugs running my heart, can you just let them be? This is no make-up body, I swear; it's my organs that sing nothing but broken melodies. If I get sick out of the blue, can you tell the believers not to bother to save me a seat?

This point of view you bought me remains on the dusty floor. You can mold me, break me, and make me hollow. You can even lick the cocaine from my cold, dead fingers and imagine beauty queens wearing crowns with glitter (but I don't wear anyone's crown).

I was carved perfectly, you know. The dress did fit me like a glove; your stains there as a lasting memory. You know what, sir? You can put on your own creation. I'm sure pink is your colour. It makes your skin glow.

It really does.

Merle L Fogg - the first licensed aviator in the state of Maine.

2011-10-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

Granted I look nothing like my English side of the family (the Foggs). Still, it's pretty intresting to know something about that side of my family. Merle L Fogg is my great grandfather's first cousin.

Merle Fogg eased the control stick back in his little biplane. It rose from the ground and soared over the bay towards Fort Lauderdale beach. People near Las Olas Boulevard heard the engine chugging and looked up. They saw sun sparking from the wings, marveled at the wonder of flight and the daring young man who braved the sky.
By 1928 Merle Fogg had become one of the best known and best liked residents in Fort Lauderdale. He was the operator of the city's first flying service. The rides he gave thrilled residents and gave them their first taste of flight. Time and time again he demonstrated the utility of his primitive craft by performing aerial surveys, taking photographs of the city, transporting passengers around the state and teaching residents to fly. Fogg was a visionary who believed in a bright future for aviation and although he would not live to see it happen; he would begin a series of events that would take aviation in Broward County from the era of the barnstormer into the jet age.

Fogg was born on May 26, 1898 in Enfield, Maine to Leslie and Alberta Fogg. He served in the Army during World War I, although he never saw combat. After he was discharged he studied engineering and graduated from the University of Maine. But Fogg was smitten by aviation, an avocation not endorsed by his father. Leslie Fogg did everything he could to deter his son from becoming a pilot. In 1922 Merle traveled to Okeechobee, Florida. He reportedly told his parents that he merely wanted to winter in a warmer climate, but he was really there to take flying lessons from Ralph De Vore of Clearwater. His parents were made aware of his activities when he shipped an aircraft engine back home.

After learning to fly, Fogg barnstormed around Florida for about a year before flying his biplane to Maine to barnstorm in his home state. It was a glamorous, dangerous way to make a living. An account in the Lewiston, Maine newspaper relates that both Fogg and his wing walker, George "Daredevil" Sparks, were nearly killed when at an altitude of nearly a thousand feet; Sparks walked out to the wing tip, lost his grip and nearly fell from the plane. As he tumbled over, Sparks wedged his ankle to a lift strut and hung suspended from the biplane. Although he didn't have much altitude Fogg dove toward the ground and made a sharp turn, flipping Sparks towards the wing. Sparks grabbed a flying wire and pulled himself aboard. Fogg finessed the controls to end the dive before crashing into the ground.

Fogg returned to Florida around 1925, this time to Fort Lauderdale. The city was in the middle of a land boom and he was hired to fly a seaplane owned by land developer Tom Bryan. Bryan was also a State Representative and with Fogg as his pilot, he was possibly the first lawmaker to commute to Tallahassee by air. Fogg also opened a base for his land plane. His tiny airfield was tucked into a spit of land just north of Las Olas Boulevard, were it meets the Intracostal waterway. Its primitive wood hangar was visible from the road. Big bold letters over the door proclaimed, "Merle Fogg Flying Service." If he was on the ground working on his plane motorists tooted horns and waived as they went by. Merle must have liked the attention because he always waved back.

One of his young admirers was Dwight L Rodgers, Jr. Rodgers, a Fort Lauderdale attorney, remembered, "I saw him land a few times and it was great, really great!" Rogers says that Fogg's landing strip was only about a block long. "It was surprising that he could take off in that distance, but he could.He was certainly a well liked person."

You can read more about my relative over here.

I just had to see his memorial with my own eyes. There is a blog entry about my relative over here.

Stories & Broken Glass.

2011-10-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm Martianese, so does that mean the Martianese men own a part of me? I've been called a witch, a traitor, a mistake. How can I betray somebody I never even met? I fell for a man who happens to be from Pluto and for that, I've been spit on, cursed, and removed from society. My hair is not light like the sun and my eyes are not wide enough to be considered beautiful by men with empty bellies.

So what?

I doze off into a paradise dream and all I bring back is the sand. I have fish lips, bug green eyes, and short stems. I used to wish for my waist to be narrow and my dress would flatter the hole in my heart; my mood is like the waves of the ocean. I tremble when the light gets so bright like the stars that only exist in movies. I rush to capture the spotlight, but my hands are so small and my feet are like "graves in the ground."

I manage to write a message from the bottom and I drink water that is poisoned. Nonbelievers drown in rivers, and I barely hang on to a branch of a tree. I'm cold as snow, but I'll tell you how the skeletons twists and twirl. I'll even show you the mermaids who are now old and wrinkled but I promise you, they still have rhythm! The mermaids play their violins as if it's their primary language. I still have so much to learn from them.

I'm Martianese, so does that mean Martianese men own a part of me? I've been called a witch, a traitor, a mistake. How can I betray somebody I have no connection with? I fell for a man who happens to be from Pluto and for that, I've been spit on, cursed, and removed from society. I get tangled in nets by men who misidentify me as one of the mermaids. I can't say I mind when now all I have left are stories and broken glass.

It fits like a glove.

2011-10-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

I decided to do "My Saturday Theme Song," series. Just because. I begin the series with "All Neon Like," from Bjork.

Carnival Blues.

2011-10-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

My soul is asleep, so why do you expect me to be singing the blues tonight? Five years clean and I still manage to feel dirty. I vow to no longer go on the fast rides like I used to. I now focus on the streetlights and neon signs to stay calm somehow. I realize I only hide my turmoil in my shoes in fear that the people around me would write their own version on the walls. It's just as well.

Two lovers become three and heartbreak crashes the scene.
We stay in our shelter; together we fall apart.
I still wear my flower dresses on the weekends
and even though the spotlight is fake ---
I feel alive. I still believe.
signed brokencrowns&all.

My childhood friends say I'm making the biggest mistake. There is a world for the drug users and there is one I've crossed to. I can no longer see heroin as cotton candy. My hands behind my back and I've been shaking; shaking hands far too long than I should have. I may have weak palms but it doesn't mean I'm a nonbeliever. I even asked the Grim Reaper if I could stay in the sidelines with her and hopefully some kind of miracle would soon follow. The Grim Reaper refused but I can't say I blame her, especially when you see demons with wings and angels with horns.

I still think about the boy who used to live next door to me. The boy once told me that the magicians and the udertakers are basically the same. I asked what he meant by that and he simply replied, "They both can make the body disappear."

I was the naive one, after all. I'm hitting (a number I refuse to announce) and I'm still reading fairytales. The boy knew I will only continue to make flower dresses for the rest of my days. I assured him that we can still pretend the spotlight is still shinning on us; he loved the idea but he knew that's all it really was --- a great idea. I wish I knew what he knew when I was his age.

The boy whispered to my ear, "Just don't expect me to be singing the blues tonight."

嬌小女孩, 巨大冒險

2011-10-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

I want to feel alive. I want to be inspired. I miss dreaming. I miss having goals. I want to know if landscapes collapse, will I still be wanted? I don't mind being heartbroken if it means I can still create. I actually embrace change. I simply just don't want to lose my identity in the process. I want to be able to wake in the morning with a clean slate. Without regret, insecurities, and cynicism. I refuse to let the past consume me. I'm honestly thinking about taking chances in my life for once. I know, all this thinking, how often do these thoughts go stale? My brain turns to mush.

It wasn't all that long ago when my husband showed me his childhood, culture, lifestyle in Taiwan. I miss the clean, reliable public transportation, the convenience of eating at the street vendors, the pleasure of shopping at the night markets, and having a time out at the temples. Most of all, I miss experiencing all of this with my husband. My future is uncertain and I am fine with that. I may start a new chapter in Taiwan sooner or later than I thought. I know when I do eventually move to Taiwan, I will have to start from scratch. I know there will be times when I will feel so out of place and question if I have made the right decision. I can only open my mind and do my absolute best; the rest will soon follow. Traveling to another country really does open your eyes to new possibilities. 如何在台灣生存? 我是外國人, 在台灣除了當英文老師外, 我能做其他的職業嗎? 有一件事是我可以確定的, 我野心很大, 所以我不會當英文老師. Questions juggling in my head and it's okay. I mean, I still have a lot of time to ponder before my next journey begins.

I may actually move to an unexpected destination that is not Taiwan. I may not. Whatever will be, will be. I grew up going with the flow. I hold onto nothing. I don't mind falling on my face if it means I can get up from the floor with a lesson learned. I refuse to remain a person I once was and I hope I will be brave enough to say goodbye to the person I am today when the time comes. There are a few lessons I've learned over the years.

You must love yourself in order to love somebody else. I've learned this the hard way. I've pushed people away 'cause I felt I didn't deserve to smile. I guess you can say I didn't want to cut myself some slack in fear I'll sound...arrogant? There's a fine line of self confidence and bullshitting. I don't want to be in the spotlight. I don't need validation or recognition. Still, I smile even when there are thunderstorms in my head. Smiling is contagious. I love myself enough not to drink the poison but I also refuse to act like "the cure."
Who you hang out with does effect you. It's like a mirror effect. If you hang out with positive people, you will become more positive yourself. I'm fortunate to be with a man who encourages me rather than to belittle me; we're each other muses. When my husband succeeds, I will succeed. When I succeed, my husband succeeds. I need those kind of relationships in my life.
Age is merely just a number. I need to remind myself that constantly. It's never too late. Well okay, it's a tad late for me to become a ballerina. Ahem. That's okay, though. I create new goals. I will learn how to tango for fun.

I may sing off key but I at least carry my own tune. Regardless what road I choose (or maybe it chooses me, who knows), I am going be just fine.

Bonjour, Montréal!

2011-10-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

I went to Montréal last September. I can't believe the city is only 2plus hours away from Portland. I'm temporarily staying in South Florida and I finally got the chance to visit Québec. It's rather sad if you think about it, but I at least can now cross it from my list. I already miss the coffee, the market, and the French cuisine. I will make sure to visit Québec City one day. I promise.

On the other note, I take random snapshots when I travel; I carry my camera around like a backpack. To be frank, I haven't been doing that lately. I don't even bother. I hope to have my spark back very soon. I'm no professional photographer and I honestly don't give a damn. I just have a terrible memory; I find it hard to remember the details of my life. I use the photographs to hang on to the moments somehow.

If I take it way too seriously like a twat, I would probably drop it all together.

I have so many other photos but this will have to do. Au revoir, Montréal! I should've visited you while I was still in Portland many, many times. I will visit again. I better dash! Cheers!

abstract on the brain. part two.

2011-09-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

Some of my recent silly doodles. Click on the picture to enlarge. Which reminds me, I need more paper and (gasp) sharpie markers.

How I met my husband.

2011-09-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

My husband, Da-Wen, is also my best friend. We talk of politics, goals, cuisine, and culture. We communicate like childhood friends. I don't have to say a word for my husband to know what I'm thinking; he insists my face gives it away. To him, I'm an open book. I'm fortunate to be in a relationship where I still have my own identity. I think that's important. I have a person in my life who challenges me; encourages me to be more adventurous. There's nothing worse than to be with somebody who only puts you down and sabotages your every attempt to improve yourself. I'm fortunate not to have such negative energy.

I met him online. Out of all places. Myspace, to be exact. I know, what the hell is that? I don't quite remember, myself. Da-Wen gave me a sincere, respectful message - so I decided to actually respond. Who would've thought I was responding to my future husband? Pure comedy. I took a huge risk by moving to South Florida with Da-Wen to start a whole new chapter. Luckily, the book turned out quite well. I never dreamt of marriage. To be honest, I simply just wanted to explore the world with a pan and paper. I didn't want to be planted in soil, so to speak. I wanted to move like the wind; I honestly didn't care where I was going.

(GASP)

I settled down, instead. Da-Wen was the one who planned the whole wedding. On top of that, he helped me pick out a wedding dress, and he let me choose a wedding ring (I got a ruby instead of a diamond). It's my thing. Don't judge. I'm not the planner in the relationship. Da-Wen is. Hands down. Da-Wen help me not be so careless and I encourage him to loosen up. We complement each other.

I still move like the wind. The difference is, I have somebody who's there to share the adventures with.

Cliches & Dried Up Spells.

2011-09-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just want to shake things up. My life on pause; I yearn to be inspired once again. I look at the clock and I feel I'm in the wrong timezone. I drink the sea. I vomit violets. My garden went in flames. Once upon a time, I had a big heart with small hands, but I honestly thought I owned the world. I pull down the shades and see my life in a new angle. I know I'm not the only one who has demons swallowing me whole. Swing set without swings. The leaves turn colour and detach from the trees. I would damage my skin even when there was no tragedy.

I eat poison apples. I fall off cliffs. Mice and their Cinderella stories. Dwarfs and their Snow White thoughts. I fish for love I know deep down, I cannot bare. No one will be having cake. No, not tonight.

I miss taking risks without question or fear. Not that fear is a dreadful thing. It can be healthy in small doses. I don't mind being heartbroken if it means I can create. I know, all this thinking, how often these thoughts go stale? My brain turns to mush. I may still wear my coat but I honestly thought I would finally be comfortable in my own skin. Even I make a difference. I have a voice of my own; a world I refuse to disown. Even I burn; have asteroids crashing to the ground. Even I try to stay strong to live through the tornadoes. Even I survive {to revive}. Even I fall.

Did I mention I don't mind being heartbroken? I just want to shake things up.

I may sing off key but I at least carry my own tune.

2011-09-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a musician. I never let on I was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I went through many years of speech therapy and had many ear surgeries. I can't dance. I have two left feet. I can't carry a tune. I'm tone deaf. I remember when I was just a little girl, I recorded my own voice on a toy-like machine, and smashed it because I simply didn't like my singing. I was a violent girl, eh? I may have terrible hearing, but even I knew my voice sounded dreadful. That was the day when I stopped singing. I've realized early on that it simply wasn't my calling. I don't mind. I couldn't speak well enough for people to understand me. I used writing as another way to express myself. I figured I may not be able to make music, but I can at least write the lyrics.

Moreover, I can also just draw abstract pieces of creatures dancing, singing, and playing instruments.

I drew this for an online friend.

2011-09-14T16:11:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Taiwan.

2011-09-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

Bubble tea.

Taipei 101.

京華城

Oyster omelette.

Stinky tofu on a stick.

Can't you tell I have too much time on my hands? What can I say? I like to doodle!

collection: diversity.

2011-09-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, it's smushed crayon and black sharpie marker!

Learn a culture, religion, lifestyle other than your own. Learn to smile and accept many faces. Learn not to fear what you don't understand. Learn to co-exist with people of different ideals. We, people, may grow up with different backgrounds, but we pretty much have the same goals: Become a better person and to help others. I strongly believe that people are generally good. Call me optimistic, that's fine. There will always be a few rotten apples, but don't let that give you a reason to go blind.

I'm no longer a wild child or even a teenager.

2011-09-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what will become of me. I’m no longer a wild child or even a teenager. I pick up the phone only to find my world is disconnected. I don’t have strings attached to my body. I can never fly like Peter Pan. I need a change of scenery when I see singing birds being framed on neon walls. I wear my flower dress till the flowers wither away. I refuse to forget the girl I once was; she used to play in the sandbox with the other boys. I once told my friends we could paint our walls pink and sing love songs in the dark; pretend our dear princes got stuck in traffic just so we’ll have something to believe in. Well, I did end up finding my prince. My prince took me to a beautiful island, and I never want to go back.

Sometimes I imagine my childhood with a mother figure. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me till I became an adult. I would see mothers interact with their children and I would only feel empty inside. I remember I found a once forgotten photo of my mother in the cellar when I was only a little girl; I thought she was beautiful. My mother had dark hair, dark eyes, with dark skin. I honestly don’t know much about her. My mom was adopted when she was only a child by a couple with English heritage. I had no way of tracing back her roots ’cause my mom’s name was changed, so I did an expensive DNA test. I’ve realized that she has no English heritage whatsoever. Yes, my mom had dark hair, dark eyes, with dark skin; she was a Latina woman.

I waste my youth on sour apple lollipops and unfinished dreams. I never finish anything. There are times when I do miss feeling hollow; as if I’m not made of anything at all. I need a change of scenery when I see snow angels being framed on neon walls. I’ll dance to any song that puts reality into a coma.I guess it’s always good to feel something than to not feel anything at all.

Weight to me, is like those boxes that get smaller and smaller. I don’t know why I bother to see what’s inside the last box when the end results tend to remain the same. My friends would hold their breath till their world turns blue. It’s pure comedy when we think it’ll be a certain way and it goes entirely a different direction. We all went our separate ways, of course. I turned out just fine. I still draw like a kid. I capture snapshots through my own eyes; carrying my camera like a back pack. My prince is basically my best friend. We talk of politics, goals, cuisine, and culture. I hope I will go back to college one of these days. I really want to continue my education. My future is up in the clouds and I don’t have a ladder to climb up. I feel like every time I reach for the sky, my arms only get smaller; I can only reach for the gutter with a shovel.

Life is clearly what you make of it. I still wish on a shooting star, but I no longer just dream.

abstract on the brain.

2011-09-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

These doodles are kind of old. 2006-2008. Which reminds me, I need new art supplies.

open your eyes. open your mind. open your heart.

2011-08-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

It’s funny when you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. You feel excluded from everyone else. Maybe you don’t know the language. Maybe you don’t have family around here. Maybe you’re single on foreign land. Maybe, just maybe, you haven’t truly lived your life till now. You wonder, is it worth it? You start to use your other side of the brain. You start to say hello to the Natives. You open yourself up to unfamiliar costumes. You meet people who later on become your friends and perhaps, family. Sometimes you must feel so uncomfortable to the point you want to jump out of your own skin before you can truly appreciate the new life you have given yourself.

Believe me, it’s so worth it.

pickle bun/割包.

2011-08-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

Pickle bun/割包 (my absolute favourite Taiwanese cuisine). It's also the reason why I can't be kosher. I'm just saying. Luckily for me, I can make them when I'm home away from home.

my heart may sleep but I stay awake for the adventure.

2011-08-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

I will say farewell to the moon and greet the sun. I will smile even when I get unfriendly stares. I will keep my head up high even when the clouds form above me. I will hold my umbrella and deal with the rain (to enjoy the rainbow). I will count my blessings but not the amount of money or friends. My world is a canvas and I will create even when I have broken hands. I will continue to sculpt abstract houses and make trees out of paper mache. I will paint the flowers in every colour and plant them inside my home. I will use water colour in the hallways and turn the walls into a forest. I will hang my memories in all the rooms; I can revisit the past whenever I want.

I will wave farewell to the sun and greet the moon. My heart may sleep but I will stay awake for the adventure. I will reach for the stars and fall from grace. I will grab ahold of my faith and land on my feet. I will speak ALOUD. My voice travels through the mountains, skyscrapers, and city lights. I will dream BIG and appreciate the small things.

I will live my life under my own terms.

My husband shows me his childhood hangout.

2011-08-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

My husband, Da-Wen, took me to his childhood hangout. After school, he would hang out at Gong Guan. It must've been mind blowing to grow up in Taipei during the 1970's and seeing all these changes as time rolls by. I can't even imagine. I'm fortunate to explore Taiwan through a local's eyes. I got to have hot pot with my husband and his classmates. I've got to stay at a typical Taiwanese household than to stay at a hotel. I've got to see how "everything goes" when my husband renews his identification card. My husband helps me with the street vendors and shopping.

I recommend going to Gon Guang. That is where I got the cutest red bag (and I still use this bag to this day).

Thank you, Da-Wen, for ordering me great choices. It's good to be around somebody who can read me like a book.

This picture reminds me of my jet lag. Actually, that is how I nap. You need energy for the nighttime.

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

--- James Michener

a little wisdon goes a long way.

2011-08-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

Culture shock is a wonderful thing; it means you have an opportunity to open up your mind and expand your horizons.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Cliche, but true nonetheless. The beauty standard in the society you live in is not always shared outside your little bubble. There are women in Africa who on average gain 90 pounds in three months before the wedding and they maintain it throughout their lives. Yes, the spouses find this to be rather attractive. There are belly dancers with a little meat on their bones. There are women who think long necks is a symbol of beauty. There are women in South America who think darker the skin the prettier they feel. Don't bother to have an attitude towards the woman beside you just because you're closer to your own idea of beauty than her. Remember, the woman beside you may have a totally different idea of beauty than you.
Not everybody has the same mindset as you. What you may believe in might be a huge insult to the next. I personally don't believe in luck. I can't stand it when people say, "OMG111! You're lyke so lucky!" Oh right, my accomplishments just fell onto my lap. Not. I worked my ass off to get to where I am now and believe me honey, luck has nothing to do with it. I did what I have to do to accomplish my own goals and it was no picnic. Fortunate, yes. Lucky, no. To me, there is a huge difference. When in doubt, put a muzzle on your mouth.
The best revenge is having a fulfilled life.
Don't be afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to fail. If you don't try it at all, then that is truly failing.
Eat your vegetables. It's an investment for your future.
Don't be somebody else 'cause other than yourself 'cause you're afraid to be disliked. You will be disliked, regardless. You may as well be disliked for being yourself.

I wrote this while drinking bubble tea. I refuse to spend my life with my eyes closed. What's the point in that?

puppetry art center of Taipei.

2011-08-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

Puppetry Art Center of Taipei was born from a passion for the art of puppetry. In 1998, Lin Ching-fu, chairman of the Taiyuan Arts and Culture Foundation, donated his personal collection of puppets, which he had gathered over several decades, to the Taipei City Government, in the hope of establishing a venue where these puppets could be preserved and exhibited in perpetuity.
On August 7, 2004, the brand new Puppetry Art Center of Taipei, dedicated exclusively to the display, performance, teaching, and collection of puppets and puppetry, was opened next to the CPCity Living Mall, the biggest shopping mall in East Asia.
“For the love of creativity, for the love of puppetry” is the Center’s core ideal. We hope to introduce our friends, young and old alike, to the history and development of puppetry, both traditional and contemporary, in Taiwan and around the world, and to encourage everyone to explore your creativity, using materials from everyday life to make your own unique hand puppets, shadow puppets, marionettes, or one of the many modern forms of puppets. When you put them into action with your imagination, the magic of puppets will come alive!
Connecting tradition and modernity, building a bridge between the puppetry art of East and West, Puppetry Art Center of Taipei has become the best place for people in Taiwan and visitors from all over the world to learn about puppets, appreciate puppets, and play with puppets.

You can read more about it over here. I recommend visiting this place. It's pretty interesting.

one of my many random days in Taipei.

2011-08-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

I took this picture around my old neighborhood I was staying at. I just got out of the subway station. Even on a foggy day where my curly hair becomes a fro, I'm sneezing like nobody's business, but I smiled and felt content. I'm glad to be here. Thank you.

You have to drive to go to this place but it’s so worth it. I recommend this place. 烏來燕子湖 = that’s the name of the place we went to eat. It sometimes great to get away from the neon signs. I took random snapshots on my way there, so I ended up looking like a bloody tourist. Go figure. When I go back again, I will still look like a bloody tourist.

I went to the DaAn forest park when there was something "going on" in December of 2009. I did record the aboriginal people performance. It was amazing.

Bitan.

2011-08-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

Modern Toilet.

2011-08-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

When my husband stayed in Taipei, we decided to go to Modern Toilet for at least to eat something small. I got the sundae. Bloody fantastic. Finally, a place with great atmosphere (hee!) with "yummy" food - I no longer have to choose between the two!

make me remember this night.

2011-08-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I could fall from grace as a different person and my new found faith would catch me. The clouds may block my vision but you’ll remain on my mind. Make me remember this night. I want to blend in with the night’s sky and be a part of it’s beauty. I want to be a part of something that is bigger than me. I will breathe and give birds oxygen and the birds can give me a reason to dream. I used to believe you had to shine in order to be noticed. I would rather be noticed by those who matter to me. I will be the girl who waters the plants. I will be a wife who stands by her man. I will be a dear friend when somebody loses balance.

Sometimes I’m cold like snow and I drown in my own rainstorm. I fall, scratch, and burn. I don’t mind if it means I can have you all to myself. Make me remember this night. Dance with me when my favourite song is on the radio. I’ll follow you through the neon signs if I have to. I can wear my polka dot dress and let my hair down. I can smile blissfully but only you can light up any room. Help me understand this society. Help me embrace our world.

Demons can fall out of the universe and start fires. My feet can break like glass but I’ll be right beside you till the end. Tell me life is more than this. I can’t imagine thunderstorms without rainbows or failures without success. Teach me a lullaby I can sing along to. Help me fall asleep in cluttered spaces.

Make me remember this night.

I feel terribly bad on how dreadful I am at expressing how I feel about such a beautiful island. I have all these thoughts in my head and when I attempt to express them -- they all turn to mush. I write in this blog basically for myself. I want to be able to have this available space for me and document my experiences, thoughts, and such. Nothing more, nothing less.

台灣雖美, 卻無人知. 於是我就開始寫部落格來分享我在台灣的美麗回憶. Scratch that, I am just writing for myself. I have so much to learn and I am excited for that.

aboriginal people in Taiwan.

2011-08-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

It's something about these pictures that make me smile. I will be honest, they inspire me with my doodles. You can find more over here.

neon signs light up my eyes and I can't see the stars due to the light pollution.

2011-08-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

When I first stepped on Taiwan’s soil, I felt like I was in the movie, “Lost in Translation.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’m actually on the other side of the world. Despite of my jet lag, I looked out the window in the car and everything was so unfamiliar to me. Neon signs lit up my eyes and I couldn’t see the stars due to the light pollution. I felt the energy from the strangers on the streets. My husband was willing to share his childhood, culture, lifestyle.

Sometimes life is nothing more than a comedy gone wrong. I would like to think of myself as a citizen of the world. Sometimes I just want to pack my bags, change my name, and become the person I'm afraid to be when I'm with the people who have already sculpted me into something else. I may feel like a girl with no identity, but maybe having a clean slate means I can start something wonderful. For an example; move to Taiwan and learn to speak an entirely new language. I still haven't found a place where I truly call home, but the saying goes like this --- the home is where the heart is. In that case, my heart is a tropical island and the blood that the heart pumps is bubble tea. I'm just saying.

People walk pass me every single day; they have destinations where they need to go. Then again, maybe some of the people are just wandering around either trying to figure out how to get out the rut or how to find some kind of passion.

Some people may ask me, "Why Taiwan? Why?!" I simply smile and give them the same answer, "我的心屬於台灣!/My heart belongs in Taiwan!" I believe I found my passion in Taipei. It will eventually be my permanent home.

ShiDa road is a major place for international students in Taiwan to hang out. You will find many places where you can buy glasses for a very low price, clothing, and delicious food. There are also many, many coffee shops for students to get their caffeine and studying time. I hope to one day to become a student myself. I'm grateful to be able to experience Taipei lifestyle and meet fascinating people. It opened my eyes and for the very first time, I feel like I have myself again. Weird, right? I feel ambitious and I also feel like there's actually equal opportunity here. I want to reach for the stars.

Note to self: Get my eyes checked and buy new glasses.

I never really considered myself as a religious person. I don’t really belong to any organized religion. The thing is, the first time I went to the Longshan temple, I felt like a ton of weight has lifted off my shoulders. I entered the temple as one person and I left as another; I don’t think I could ever be the same. For the longest time, I felt tense, cold, and distant. I’ve always been insecure. I didn’t feel like I could connect with anything at all.

I still don’t consider myself as a Taoist. I just simply found a place where I can collect my thoughts. That’s all. What is my identity, exactly? Moreover, do I really need one?

Crooks & Angels

2011-07-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

The crooks thought they had the wrong girl 'cause she smiles like a fool, but --- can you blame her? This is her big break. Philosophies in her pockets. She held onto her childhood lullabies and her own lines to live by. We take chances to discover ourselves. Crashing police cars. Building underground hideouts. We may be falling, but --- it feels like we're only flying with broken wings. We're simply reviving ourselves.

I know I can have a price charming come rescue me, but --- do I need to be saved? I'm not like the girls who want to go to France; have a man magically be a part of me. Men can fall down the stairs and blow me make-believe kisses. It will not make me believe.

I put on my records and I sing like a broken melody. My voice falls apart like a burning doll. Lullabies reborn and there's something awful I can't seem to shake off; faith itself fulfills the secret missions we plant inside of our own heads.

The crooks thought they had the wrong girl 'cause her world is no longer upside down, but --- can you blame her? She changed along with the seasons. Boys who are dusty toys; they swim in their own ocean. Their own paradise ---

We create immortality.

We become the stars.

We smile

smile
smile as one.

I used to have my own anthem.

2011-07-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

I used to have my own anthem. I now don't even have a burning heart. I have scattered matches around me and I can't light a single one up. I used to be anxious to grow up. I remind myself I have big dreams. I sweep my secrets under the rug like mice and I put on a dress Cinderella would wear herself. My humour is dry like a dessert. I learned to float on my own and to this day, I swim so awkwardly.

My body has been through many wars.

I have scrapes on my knees and my hair tangles like spiderwebs. I sit in front of a broken television set and I smile for the hell of it; the noise no longer phase me. I let the small stuff roll off my shoulders. There will be people who will give you poison apples. There will be moments when you doubt yourself. Sometimes your surroundings change so quickly - you have no time to blink.

I remember I used to sing in the rain and my parents thought I was just being a kid; I will eventually grow out of it. And I did. I now hide inside when it pours. I no longer sing off key and I carry umbrellas around as if I am protecting myself from something awful. I used to go outside without fear. Such is life.

I used to have my own anthem.

From Russia with love.

2011-07-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

- очень люблю серебро и не люблю золото. Silver > Gold. Well, when it comes to jewelry. ;o)

Is this paradise?

2011-07-16T11:57:00.000-07:00

Recognize these two buildings? It's from a Antonio Banderas movie. ASSASSINS.

I walked the old streets of San Juan in hope I would bump into an old friend. I wore my salsa dress and old shoes; I take random snapshots as if they're mini therapy sessions. I bathe in the sun and press "rewind" with my mind; I think about the memories I have in these sort of places. Hey Izzy Pop, how's life? I'm sorry. I'm forgetting everything. I'm trying to remember what I have promised you. I only remember bits and pieces of our story. Do you still drive that beat up car? I keep failing my driver's license. I am now a strong believer in a good public transportation system. I will be moving to Taipei with my husband. I wish I can say I am doing something with my life. I'm just wasting away. I'm not getting any younger, you know. I just turned 28 years old. I'm also glad we didn't escape to California; Arnold did a terrible job. Besides, I don't think I'll be able to find myself in the city of angels. I still bury my feet in the sand like a child but I now worry about moles and skin cancer. This is life.

Sisters need to stick together!

2011-07-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

Me: You must be trippin'

Iza: I'm not trippin' on my shoe laces!

I miss your smile. I miss your encouraging words. I miss our late-night conversations. I miss being your friend. We had told each other we would travel to California to find ourselves. It may have been a cliche, but it was our cliche. I appreciate all the times you stood by me, believed in my art, and gave me a listening ear. Not many people in my life deserved the title real friend but you were a real friend to me. Not many people get me, but you did. You get me. Let's go to Home Depot to sit on the chairs and watch people pass on by. I still remember chatting online through many holidays. I gave you a book from Ali's daughter 'cause her strength reminded me of you. We understood each other; we felt like we were trapped behind bars and had family that tried so hard to crush our dreams. I'll always have our memories kept in my pocket.

I was walking on the streets of Atlanta and wanted to bump into you somehow. Guess what? I will be going to Puerto Rico once again and I hope I will find you there. If you're not, I hope you're happy ---- wherever you are.

The crooks thought they had the wrong girl 'cause she was smiling like a fool but ----------- can you blame her? This is her big break. Philosophies in her pockets. She held her childhood lullabies and had her own lines to live by. We take chances to discover ourselves. Crashing police cars. Building underground hideouts. We may be falling but ------------ to us, we're flying. The angels breathe down our backs. "We're reviving ourselves."

I write these words for you. I will never stop being your friend. I miss you, Iza.

unexpected inspiration.

2011-07-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

Honestly, my mother inspired me to doodle such a picture. Well, what I've been told about her, anyway.

tribal, vintage, stripes - oh my!

2011-07-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

My Key West adventure.

2011-07-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

My husband and I went to Key West for the weekend. After all, it was for my husband's birthday celebration. April 18. I gave Da-Wen his early birthday present. BOSS cologne. I'm thrilled to say that he loved it. I like being in this small, cute town. The people here really know the true meaning behind the word relaxing. I got to swim in the pool, soak in the hot tub, drink hard liquor with my husband, and hang out with Hemingway's cats. Well, that's just tip of the iceberg. I personally recommend Banana Cafe, especially if you're all about the crepe.

I tend to go to non-chain-family-owned restaurants, especially the ones who have seafood dishes. Maybe I'm just being a typical New Englander - the coastal snob, that is. I don't know. However, I do know is that I don't have the typical Mainer accent. It skipped me somehow. Maybe it's because I was always moving around before I head to Maine. There are different kinds of New Englanders, of course. I have an Uncle who is a lobster man and I have an aunt (a cook) who owns a seafood restaurant that serves no bullshit.

What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do - especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. ~William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

I don't know how many times I went to the Hemmingway's home but I will always visit just for the cats alone.

We watched the sunset like an old married couple. “It’s beautiful.” “What, sweetie?” “I SAID IT’S BEAUTIFUL!” “Yeah, I am full, too. Great seafood, though!” Okay, I made the conversation up. Still.

our mini road trip.

2011-07-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

Da-Wen, you will always be my traveling buddy. We will continue to have our little road trips and for that, I am very thankful.